Gilligan's Island: Why didn't they just eat Gilligan?

Staff Writer

In early grade school, somewhere around 2nd grade, I already knew all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song. I remember because singing that song took almost exactly the amount of time it took to get to my friend’s house down the road.

At that age, I kept thinking I might actually see the castaways get off the island. Every episode, I sat all tense like I was waiting for the snap before a football play.

It was always something with these poor folks. Visitors to the island would always strand them there, one of them would get brainwashed and destroy the raft, or Gilligan would do something.

Why didn’t they just eat Gilligan?

He’s developed a reputation as the guy who always messes up their rescue attempts, episode after episode. This is slightly exaggerated, but he did ruin it for them from time to time. Maybe it was on purpose? People dream of extended vacations in a tropical paradise. They kind of got theirs, they could just survive there. Ocean breeze, all the crabs and coconut you can eat. It sounds great, but would probably wouldn’t be too long before a castaway went mad and started talking to a volley ball.

And I can’t imagine who’d want to stay on that island after the giant tarantula episode (ignoring the fact that it was the most ridiculous 80s string puppet monster I’d ever seen.)

But miraculously, they did eventually get off that island. Lending credence to my “island paradise” theory, the Howell’s built a resort on it Seems odd they’d spend years trying every episode to escape, then build a resort on that island when they finally do. Must be a Shawshank Redemption type thing. “Red was here.”

But Gilligan’s Island is good as an educational show about survival. If I ever get stranded on a desert island, it's apparently possible to build a TV out of coconuts, but there's apparently no way to fix a hole in a boat.


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